Antonia, I loved this and could relate to so much. I’ve been thinking about friendship and community a lot and trying to be more intentional about building them. You said something about how friendship doesn’t need to exist in community, but can be an extension of it, and you put into words something I’ve been poring over for a while.
Also, I’m struggling against getting desensitised, too. I also wrote about it a few weeks back and how I don’t want to simply shrug or tsk at the suffering of others. No one is free unless everyone is free. I know I can do better and I’m glad to see someone else on this journey.
On the topic of decentering celebrities, it’s funny how you mentioned Beyoncé because I recently realised how I no longer put in any effort to see what’s going on in her life.
Thank you so much for this. I really enjoyed reading it and it supplied me with some hope.
Thank you so much Fatima! I’m happy to hear that this piece resonated with you. These are things I ramble on and on about and while continuing this personal journey, I know there’s no way I’m alone in these thoughts and feelings. We’re trying and in this together! It’s not easy work but it’s worth it and I’m glad this could serve as a source of encouragement 🫂
Really felt what you wrote about friendship - I thought it was just me as I've moved around so much in my life, but now I see it everywhere. I want to make the effort to build more community but it also feels like there's so much pushing against us to do that. Still, we moved. Thanks for writing!
Thanks for reading! I know it’s possible and will definitely bring forth some challenges to maintain it, but may we all find the community that we want and need, and may it thrive 🫰🏾
the title itself sent me back to secondary school in english where whenever i would put my hands up during discussions, there would be groaning and someone in the room would call me out saying “its not that deep” safe to say at that point I had built myself a reputation for always taking things a little further than what was deemed appropriate.
That hasn’t changed. I actually wrote my final research essay on Palestine, Occupation, Zionism and International Law and was given a lower grade than what I was owed because I was ‘too passionate’ and not ‘diplomatic’ enough. I fell in love with said grade once I read that.
Everything is linked, people not being able to help in the way they want to because they’re one sick day away from being homeless. Everyone running around trying to build their money up so they’re too busy to meaningfully engage with their friends and build a community. How there never seems to be enough resources but there’s always a crisis that deserves attention. It’s all intentional. Thank you for reminding me, I think I was starting to forget.
You kinda changed my life with radical laziness, I’ve been called lazy all my life (gaslighting tactic) and now im chronically ill, so I rarely get to actually be lazy. What is considered rest isn’t actually rest for me, it’s more me doing what my body needs me to do. my own wants and needs are separate from my body’s wants and needs. According to just about everyone in my life I’m too hard on myself but at the same time how can I not be? the world we live in isn’t set up for people like me, it was never supposed to be.
truly hope i made sense here, regardless thank you so much I love this essay deeply!!
Thank you so much for sharing! I know the feeling of having my thoughts shot down all too well, hence why I gave myself the space to get some things off my chest uninterrupted. Those experiences definitely stay with you. Regarding your essay, I’m glad you were able to find satisfaction in the grade you were given, but also sorry to hear that your passion was seen as too much. I would love to read it if possible someday! I’m happy to fear that my piece put things in perspective for you, from past experiences to our current dilemmas and how it’s so easy to be removed to these intertwined issues. I loved what you said about the needs of your body and your personal needs being different, I think it’s an important distinction to make when considering how we can dismantle the thoughts of rest and laziness being something we shouldn’t indulge in. Less self critique regarding this eases some of the weight, but it’s true as you said our world simply doesn’t celebrate these things. Although the world may not give you grace, you still absolutely deserve it. While the world was never meant for people like us, there are people that have created a space for us and I hope you make your way to those people one day because everyone deserves to feel seen. Thank you so much for reading and I’m sending well wishes always!
indeed, it is that deep, I am a high-maintenance friend, and I will bring up the suffering of people in built into this system every chance I get. absolutely necessary and extremely beautiful read !!
So refreshing to read someone who isn’t afraid to call out capitalism directly. Most writers try to avoid the word altogether, it seems. It’s just like the evil that men do or whatever since ever. Not a barbaric system that could and should be overthrown toute de suite. Like when will we get to see billionaires have to kill each other on tv in a reverse Hunger Games ?
Thank you for reading! :) Capitalism is the root of most of our issues and it’s imbedded into so many factors of our lives. It was a great release to write about it. Also, ty for sharing the quote! That’s something to keep in the back of my mind to keep me grounded
Antonia, I loved this and could relate to so much. I’ve been thinking about friendship and community a lot and trying to be more intentional about building them. You said something about how friendship doesn’t need to exist in community, but can be an extension of it, and you put into words something I’ve been poring over for a while.
Also, I’m struggling against getting desensitised, too. I also wrote about it a few weeks back and how I don’t want to simply shrug or tsk at the suffering of others. No one is free unless everyone is free. I know I can do better and I’m glad to see someone else on this journey.
On the topic of decentering celebrities, it’s funny how you mentioned Beyoncé because I recently realised how I no longer put in any effort to see what’s going on in her life.
Thank you so much for this. I really enjoyed reading it and it supplied me with some hope.
Thank you so much Fatima! I’m happy to hear that this piece resonated with you. These are things I ramble on and on about and while continuing this personal journey, I know there’s no way I’m alone in these thoughts and feelings. We’re trying and in this together! It’s not easy work but it’s worth it and I’m glad this could serve as a source of encouragement 🫂
Really felt what you wrote about friendship - I thought it was just me as I've moved around so much in my life, but now I see it everywhere. I want to make the effort to build more community but it also feels like there's so much pushing against us to do that. Still, we moved. Thanks for writing!
Thanks for reading! I know it’s possible and will definitely bring forth some challenges to maintain it, but may we all find the community that we want and need, and may it thrive 🫰🏾
the title itself sent me back to secondary school in english where whenever i would put my hands up during discussions, there would be groaning and someone in the room would call me out saying “its not that deep” safe to say at that point I had built myself a reputation for always taking things a little further than what was deemed appropriate.
That hasn’t changed. I actually wrote my final research essay on Palestine, Occupation, Zionism and International Law and was given a lower grade than what I was owed because I was ‘too passionate’ and not ‘diplomatic’ enough. I fell in love with said grade once I read that.
Everything is linked, people not being able to help in the way they want to because they’re one sick day away from being homeless. Everyone running around trying to build their money up so they’re too busy to meaningfully engage with their friends and build a community. How there never seems to be enough resources but there’s always a crisis that deserves attention. It’s all intentional. Thank you for reminding me, I think I was starting to forget.
You kinda changed my life with radical laziness, I’ve been called lazy all my life (gaslighting tactic) and now im chronically ill, so I rarely get to actually be lazy. What is considered rest isn’t actually rest for me, it’s more me doing what my body needs me to do. my own wants and needs are separate from my body’s wants and needs. According to just about everyone in my life I’m too hard on myself but at the same time how can I not be? the world we live in isn’t set up for people like me, it was never supposed to be.
truly hope i made sense here, regardless thank you so much I love this essay deeply!!
Thank you so much for sharing! I know the feeling of having my thoughts shot down all too well, hence why I gave myself the space to get some things off my chest uninterrupted. Those experiences definitely stay with you. Regarding your essay, I’m glad you were able to find satisfaction in the grade you were given, but also sorry to hear that your passion was seen as too much. I would love to read it if possible someday! I’m happy to fear that my piece put things in perspective for you, from past experiences to our current dilemmas and how it’s so easy to be removed to these intertwined issues. I loved what you said about the needs of your body and your personal needs being different, I think it’s an important distinction to make when considering how we can dismantle the thoughts of rest and laziness being something we shouldn’t indulge in. Less self critique regarding this eases some of the weight, but it’s true as you said our world simply doesn’t celebrate these things. Although the world may not give you grace, you still absolutely deserve it. While the world was never meant for people like us, there are people that have created a space for us and I hope you make your way to those people one day because everyone deserves to feel seen. Thank you so much for reading and I’m sending well wishes always!
absolutely brilliant essay 💗
Thank you for reading! 🫶🏾
This is fantastic, thank you!
Thanks for reading! :)
indeed, it is that deep, I am a high-maintenance friend, and I will bring up the suffering of people in built into this system every chance I get. absolutely necessary and extremely beautiful read !!
As you should! Thank you for reading 🫶🏾
So refreshing to read someone who isn’t afraid to call out capitalism directly. Most writers try to avoid the word altogether, it seems. It’s just like the evil that men do or whatever since ever. Not a barbaric system that could and should be overthrown toute de suite. Like when will we get to see billionaires have to kill each other on tv in a reverse Hunger Games ?
“Your task is not to seek love, it is merely to seek and find all the barriers inside you that you have built against it” -Rumi
I think of this quote when I’m seeking community but feeling so hardwired against it by our capitalist upbringing
Thank you for reading! :) Capitalism is the root of most of our issues and it’s imbedded into so many factors of our lives. It was a great release to write about it. Also, ty for sharing the quote! That’s something to keep in the back of my mind to keep me grounded
this is truly a manifesto
Thanks for reading! 🫶🏾
You executed this so beautifully. Great job mamas, keep going ✨
Many thanks! 🫶🏾