I completely agree with what you wrote about laziness. The notion of being in a constant state of labour in order to survive is completely ludicrous but has been legitimised by capitalism and its indulgers. As Audre Lorde says, caring for myself is not self indulgence, it’s self preservation!
Antonia, I loved this and could relate to so much. I’ve been thinking about friendship and community a lot and trying to be more intentional about building them. You said something about how friendship doesn’t need to exist in community, but can be an extension of it, and you put into words something I’ve been poring over for a while.
Also, I’m struggling against getting desensitised, too. I also wrote about it a few weeks back and how I don’t want to simply shrug or tsk at the suffering of others. No one is free unless everyone is free. I know I can do better and I’m glad to see someone else on this journey.
On the topic of decentering celebrities, it’s funny how you mentioned Beyoncé because I recently realised how I no longer put in any effort to see what’s going on in her life.
Thank you so much for this. I really enjoyed reading it and it supplied me with some hope.
Thank you so much Fatima! I’m happy to hear that this piece resonated with you. These are things I ramble on and on about and while continuing this personal journey, I know there’s no way I’m alone in these thoughts and feelings. We’re trying and in this together! It’s not easy work but it’s worth it and I’m glad this could serve as a source of encouragement 🫂
Really felt what you wrote about friendship - I thought it was just me as I've moved around so much in my life, but now I see it everywhere. I want to make the effort to build more community but it also feels like there's so much pushing against us to do that. Still, we moved. Thanks for writing!
Thanks for reading! I know it’s possible and will definitely bring forth some challenges to maintain it, but may we all find the community that we want and need, and may it thrive 🫰🏾
This sounds like my entire inner dialogue. We are yearning for true connection and being met with the shallowness of virtual connections. We are all too busy, we believe, but we fail to quantify just how much of our time is spent mindlessly scrolling, being disembodied, being siphoned, extracted and exploited by a capitalist society… It’s tiresome and lonely.
“I love being lazy—in fact, it's more like radical rest” ding ding ding!!!! This spoke to me.
Like Audre Lorde once said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare”. Powerful but an action that’s so underrated.
I often think about how much my parents are so against rest because they weren’t exposed to it and I can’t lie, I’m a very lazy individual that is trying to get herself into enjoying hard work again. But for those who have been exposed to the constant work-alcoholic lifestyle, it’s important to be rest and choose to put capitalism on a hold.
I am just in awe — almost tripped, got hit my some leaves from my walk while reading this because I couldn’t stop. You made this read so easy and captured everything I’ve been feeling, not knowing how to ever begin to express or write. As someone who feels everything deeply, this is just another reminder that it’s okay. These were definitely words of encouragement for me, thank you.
sometimes i feel like i’m going insane because of how deeply i feel everything, it can be very isolating 🥺 thank you for putting this into words antonia!
the title itself sent me back to secondary school in english where whenever i would put my hands up during discussions, there would be groaning and someone in the room would call me out saying “its not that deep” safe to say at that point I had built myself a reputation for always taking things a little further than what was deemed appropriate.
That hasn’t changed. I actually wrote my final research essay on Palestine, Occupation, Zionism and International Law and was given a lower grade than what I was owed because I was ‘too passionate’ and not ‘diplomatic’ enough. I fell in love with said grade once I read that.
Everything is linked, people not being able to help in the way they want to because they’re one sick day away from being homeless. Everyone running around trying to build their money up so they’re too busy to meaningfully engage with their friends and build a community. How there never seems to be enough resources but there’s always a crisis that deserves attention. It’s all intentional. Thank you for reminding me, I think I was starting to forget.
You kinda changed my life with radical laziness, I’ve been called lazy all my life (gaslighting tactic) and now im chronically ill, so I rarely get to actually be lazy. What is considered rest isn’t actually rest for me, it’s more me doing what my body needs me to do. my own wants and needs are separate from my body’s wants and needs. According to just about everyone in my life I’m too hard on myself but at the same time how can I not be? the world we live in isn’t set up for people like me, it was never supposed to be.
truly hope i made sense here, regardless thank you so much I love this essay deeply!!
Thank you so much for sharing! I know the feeling of having my thoughts shot down all too well, hence why I gave myself the space to get some things off my chest uninterrupted. Those experiences definitely stay with you. Regarding your essay, I’m glad you were able to find satisfaction in the grade you were given, but also sorry to hear that your passion was seen as too much. I would love to read it if possible someday! I’m happy to fear that my piece put things in perspective for you, from past experiences to our current dilemmas and how it’s so easy to be removed to these intertwined issues. I loved what you said about the needs of your body and your personal needs being different, I think it’s an important distinction to make when considering how we can dismantle the thoughts of rest and laziness being something we shouldn’t indulge in. Less self critique regarding this eases some of the weight, but it’s true as you said our world simply doesn’t celebrate these things. Although the world may not give you grace, you still absolutely deserve it. While the world was never meant for people like us, there are people that have created a space for us and I hope you make your way to those people one day because everyone deserves to feel seen. Thank you so much for reading and I’m sending well wishes always!
This essay came at the perfect time-- when I've begun thinking more and more about community and my role in both creating it(personal)/sustaining the community that already exist (external).
Some lines that really hit me:
"No working-class individual is immune to the effects of capitalism simply because they refuse to engage and analyze."
Because I've been guilting of wanting to turn towards ignorance- especially as pessimism and nihilism creep in - even as I'm directly impacted by what I'm trying to turn away from. And I needed the reminder that because I'm directly impacted I should turn towards instead of away.
And
"A privilege of the Western world is the ability to unplug from other global atrocities and even ones around us, all caused by countries failing their people with a simple scroll and a simple click of a power button."
This line stuck me because it felt like - to a point - a natural extension of the line I quoted above it. Although this line was in reference to instances like the genocide in Palestine, I think this behavior is what "softened" or "shaped" behavior in the Western world (but in this case more so America) to unplug from it's own atrocities. Obviously externally, but as we saw with the BLM movement/2020 protest, Roe v Wade, and the current Southern California wildfires -- internally too.
---
These thoughts might not fully align with the topic of your whole essay (sorry!), but your essay has definitely got me thinking.
indeed, it is that deep, I am a high-maintenance friend, and I will bring up the suffering of people in built into this system every chance I get. absolutely necessary and extremely beautiful read !!
So refreshing to read someone who isn’t afraid to call out capitalism directly. Most writers try to avoid the word altogether, it seems. It’s just like the evil that men do or whatever since ever. Not a barbaric system that could and should be overthrown toute de suite. Like when will we get to see billionaires have to kill each other on tv in a reverse Hunger Games ?
Thank you for reading! :) Capitalism is the root of most of our issues and it’s imbedded into so many factors of our lives. It was a great release to write about it. Also, ty for sharing the quote! That’s something to keep in the back of my mind to keep me grounded
I completely agree with what you wrote about laziness. The notion of being in a constant state of labour in order to survive is completely ludicrous but has been legitimised by capitalism and its indulgers. As Audre Lorde says, caring for myself is not self indulgence, it’s self preservation!
Thanks for reading :) We all need a reminder that self-preservation will always be an act of political warfare!
Antonia, I loved this and could relate to so much. I’ve been thinking about friendship and community a lot and trying to be more intentional about building them. You said something about how friendship doesn’t need to exist in community, but can be an extension of it, and you put into words something I’ve been poring over for a while.
Also, I’m struggling against getting desensitised, too. I also wrote about it a few weeks back and how I don’t want to simply shrug or tsk at the suffering of others. No one is free unless everyone is free. I know I can do better and I’m glad to see someone else on this journey.
On the topic of decentering celebrities, it’s funny how you mentioned Beyoncé because I recently realised how I no longer put in any effort to see what’s going on in her life.
Thank you so much for this. I really enjoyed reading it and it supplied me with some hope.
Thank you so much Fatima! I’m happy to hear that this piece resonated with you. These are things I ramble on and on about and while continuing this personal journey, I know there’s no way I’m alone in these thoughts and feelings. We’re trying and in this together! It’s not easy work but it’s worth it and I’m glad this could serve as a source of encouragement 🫂
Really felt what you wrote about friendship - I thought it was just me as I've moved around so much in my life, but now I see it everywhere. I want to make the effort to build more community but it also feels like there's so much pushing against us to do that. Still, we moved. Thanks for writing!
Thanks for reading! I know it’s possible and will definitely bring forth some challenges to maintain it, but may we all find the community that we want and need, and may it thrive 🫰🏾
This sounds like my entire inner dialogue. We are yearning for true connection and being met with the shallowness of virtual connections. We are all too busy, we believe, but we fail to quantify just how much of our time is spent mindlessly scrolling, being disembodied, being siphoned, extracted and exploited by a capitalist society… It’s tiresome and lonely.
"modern man yearns for the tribe"
These issues have more to do with individualism than capitalism
“I love being lazy—in fact, it's more like radical rest” ding ding ding!!!! This spoke to me.
Like Audre Lorde once said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare”. Powerful but an action that’s so underrated.
I often think about how much my parents are so against rest because they weren’t exposed to it and I can’t lie, I’m a very lazy individual that is trying to get herself into enjoying hard work again. But for those who have been exposed to the constant work-alcoholic lifestyle, it’s important to be rest and choose to put capitalism on a hold.
I am just in awe — almost tripped, got hit my some leaves from my walk while reading this because I couldn’t stop. You made this read so easy and captured everything I’ve been feeling, not knowing how to ever begin to express or write. As someone who feels everything deeply, this is just another reminder that it’s okay. These were definitely words of encouragement for me, thank you.
sometimes i feel like i’m going insane because of how deeply i feel everything, it can be very isolating 🥺 thank you for putting this into words antonia!
the title itself sent me back to secondary school in english where whenever i would put my hands up during discussions, there would be groaning and someone in the room would call me out saying “its not that deep” safe to say at that point I had built myself a reputation for always taking things a little further than what was deemed appropriate.
That hasn’t changed. I actually wrote my final research essay on Palestine, Occupation, Zionism and International Law and was given a lower grade than what I was owed because I was ‘too passionate’ and not ‘diplomatic’ enough. I fell in love with said grade once I read that.
Everything is linked, people not being able to help in the way they want to because they’re one sick day away from being homeless. Everyone running around trying to build their money up so they’re too busy to meaningfully engage with their friends and build a community. How there never seems to be enough resources but there’s always a crisis that deserves attention. It’s all intentional. Thank you for reminding me, I think I was starting to forget.
You kinda changed my life with radical laziness, I’ve been called lazy all my life (gaslighting tactic) and now im chronically ill, so I rarely get to actually be lazy. What is considered rest isn’t actually rest for me, it’s more me doing what my body needs me to do. my own wants and needs are separate from my body’s wants and needs. According to just about everyone in my life I’m too hard on myself but at the same time how can I not be? the world we live in isn’t set up for people like me, it was never supposed to be.
truly hope i made sense here, regardless thank you so much I love this essay deeply!!
Thank you so much for sharing! I know the feeling of having my thoughts shot down all too well, hence why I gave myself the space to get some things off my chest uninterrupted. Those experiences definitely stay with you. Regarding your essay, I’m glad you were able to find satisfaction in the grade you were given, but also sorry to hear that your passion was seen as too much. I would love to read it if possible someday! I’m happy to fear that my piece put things in perspective for you, from past experiences to our current dilemmas and how it’s so easy to be removed to these intertwined issues. I loved what you said about the needs of your body and your personal needs being different, I think it’s an important distinction to make when considering how we can dismantle the thoughts of rest and laziness being something we shouldn’t indulge in. Less self critique regarding this eases some of the weight, but it’s true as you said our world simply doesn’t celebrate these things. Although the world may not give you grace, you still absolutely deserve it. While the world was never meant for people like us, there are people that have created a space for us and I hope you make your way to those people one day because everyone deserves to feel seen. Thank you so much for reading and I’m sending well wishes always!
this is truly a manifesto
Thanks for reading! 🫶🏾
This was good!! Thank you for putting emotions I’ve been feeling for months into WORDS!
Thanks for reading! :)
This essay came at the perfect time-- when I've begun thinking more and more about community and my role in both creating it(personal)/sustaining the community that already exist (external).
Some lines that really hit me:
"No working-class individual is immune to the effects of capitalism simply because they refuse to engage and analyze."
Because I've been guilting of wanting to turn towards ignorance- especially as pessimism and nihilism creep in - even as I'm directly impacted by what I'm trying to turn away from. And I needed the reminder that because I'm directly impacted I should turn towards instead of away.
And
"A privilege of the Western world is the ability to unplug from other global atrocities and even ones around us, all caused by countries failing their people with a simple scroll and a simple click of a power button."
This line stuck me because it felt like - to a point - a natural extension of the line I quoted above it. Although this line was in reference to instances like the genocide in Palestine, I think this behavior is what "softened" or "shaped" behavior in the Western world (but in this case more so America) to unplug from it's own atrocities. Obviously externally, but as we saw with the BLM movement/2020 protest, Roe v Wade, and the current Southern California wildfires -- internally too.
---
These thoughts might not fully align with the topic of your whole essay (sorry!), but your essay has definitely got me thinking.
indeed, it is that deep, I am a high-maintenance friend, and I will bring up the suffering of people in built into this system every chance I get. absolutely necessary and extremely beautiful read !!
As you should! Thank you for reading 🫶🏾
So refreshing to read someone who isn’t afraid to call out capitalism directly. Most writers try to avoid the word altogether, it seems. It’s just like the evil that men do or whatever since ever. Not a barbaric system that could and should be overthrown toute de suite. Like when will we get to see billionaires have to kill each other on tv in a reverse Hunger Games ?
“Your task is not to seek love, it is merely to seek and find all the barriers inside you that you have built against it” -Rumi
I think of this quote when I’m seeking community but feeling so hardwired against it by our capitalist upbringing
Thank you for reading! :) Capitalism is the root of most of our issues and it’s imbedded into so many factors of our lives. It was a great release to write about it. Also, ty for sharing the quote! That’s something to keep in the back of my mind to keep me grounded
Mayhaps people are reluctant to call out capitalism because it's not the true culprit?
I enjoyed reading this article! The title caught my eye and I'm glad that I stayed to read more :)
absolutely brilliant essay 💗
Thank you for reading! 🫶🏾
This is fantastic, thank you!
Thanks for reading! :)
You executed this so beautifully. Great job mamas, keep going ✨
Many thanks! 🫶🏾